Thursday, June 26, 2008
From Mufti Perlis
'Kita perlu bersifat objektif kerana kita bukan malaikat yang boleh membuat pemilihan mutlak di atas kebenaran. Ada kalanya boleh jadi betul satu perkara tetapi salah di masa yang lain. Kebenaran boleh menjelma dalam berbagai wajah' - renung2kan lah.....
Monday, June 23, 2008
@ Danga Bay
Since we all dah sampai kat JB, so kitorg merayap2 la kat Danga Bay, sll dgr nama je dlm tv or radio..so pegi tgk sendiri la kan tmepat tu mcm mane....nice place to spend with family especially with our little one.....at nite they have this so called fun fair..fahim n ayra had a good time....my ayra enjoy d train ride :).... we all also go makan steamboat n tauhu bakar at Dataran Steamboat kot rasanye nama tmpat tu....d tauhu bakar so marvellous as compared to here in KL...nyummy..nyummy, mcm nak gik mkn lgk jek.....but anyway, no pics taken at d dataran, everybody busy eating...heheheh.... nice experince.....
GG's convo @ UTM
kekekkeke...it took me ages to update this blog...n this is way backdated post... Along...as requested, i've manage to upload this blog at last...cable camera hilang ler..... So this entry is dedicated to GG @ Pak Cik...congrats for your convocation...way to go bro....n amazingly, we manage to gather the whole family members (this is somenthing tough to do recently...hhuhuh) even hari raya pun sometimes susah nak jumpa semua.....hehehhheh
To GG ~~~ kitorang semua mendoakan GG berjaya dlm hidup dan tabah menghadapi segala dugaan Allah....God won't test us, unless He knows we can cope with it! So, watever happens kuatkan semangat dan teruskan berusaha...NEVER EVER give up...we love u bro.....
To GG ~~~ kitorang semua mendoakan GG berjaya dlm hidup dan tabah menghadapi segala dugaan Allah....God won't test us, unless He knows we can cope with it! So, watever happens kuatkan semangat dan teruskan berusaha...NEVER EVER give up...we love u bro.....
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Something to share....unsolicited advice on disciplining your child
These are some tips to help mothers to discipline your kids..the one listed below is actual meant for me (so tat i can refer to whenever I have probs to handle ayra...huhhuhu, tantrum is a common word for me now...huwaaaaaaaa)...suitable for ayra's age range..if anybody one the details...can go visit below link...enjoyzzzzz....
Highlights
We've all seen them: the out-of-control toddler hurling handfuls of sand at the park; the whiny-voiced 3-year-old begging for candy in the grocery line; the sassy 7-year-old yelling "you can't make me!" at the restaurant. And we've privately dissed their parents, reassuring ourselves that we'd never be such a wimp if our child was terrorizing the playground or disrupting everyone's dinner. But then it happens: the massive meltdown that takes you completely by surprise. And suddenly you are that parent — the one flailing to figure out what to do. The truth is, every child presents discipline challenges at every age, and it's up to us to figure out how to handle them.Why is discipline such a big dilemma? Because it feels like a tightrope act. On one side there's the peril of permissiveness — no one wants to raise a brat. On the other side there's the fear of over-control — who wants to be the hardliner raising cowed, sullen kids? What we need is a comfortable middle ground to ensure that our little ones grow up to be respectful, caring, and well behaved.
First, the ground rules
To set the stage for discipline success, here are the bottom-line rules many experts agree on:
1. We're all in this together. Right from the start, teach your kids that your family is a mutual support system, meaning that everyone pitches in. Even a baby can learn to "help" you lift her by reaching out her arms, says Madelyn Swift, founder and director of Childright and author of Discipline for Life, Getting It Right With Children.
2. Respect is mutual. One of the most common complaints parents and kids have about each other is "You're not listening." Set a good example early on: When your child tries to tell you something, stop what you're doing, focus your attention, and listen. Later you can require the same courtesy from her.
3. Consistency is king. One good way to raise a child with emotional strength? Be consistent and unwavering about rules and chores, says Harvard professor Dan Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing. Even if you pick just one chore to insist on, your child will be better off, Kindlon says. "Being firm and consistent teaches your child that you care enough about him to expect responsible behavior."
4. Life's not always fair. We're so afraid of disappointing or upsetting our kids — too afraid, say some discipline pros. "If a child never experiences the pain of frustration — of having to share a toy or wait their turn in line — or if they're never sad or disappointed, they won't develop psychological skills that are crucial for their future happiness," says Kindlon. So if your child's upset because a younger sibling got a different punishment, for example, it's okay to say "I understand that this seems unfair to you, and I'm sorry you're upset, but life isn't always fair."
Tool: Remove and substitute
Age: 6 to 18 months
How it works:
Like the rest of us, young children learn by doing — so when your baby throws his bowl of peas off the highchair tray, it's because he's curious to see what will happen, not because he wants to upset you or mess up your clean kitchen floor.That said, you don't have to stand by while your child does something you don't like. And you definitely don't want to stand by if your little one's grabbing for something dangerous. Take the object away or physically move your baby away from it. Then give him a safe, less-messy or less-destructive alternative. "Substituting something else will prevent a meltdown," Kvols says.Make sure you explain what you're doing to your child, even if he's too young to really understand. You're teaching a fundamental discipline lesson — that some behaviors aren't acceptable, and that you'll be redirecting him when necessary.Real-life application: Your 8-month-old keeps grabbing your favorite necklace and chewing on the beads. Instead of letting him, or continuing to pull it out of his hands, unclasp the necklace and put it aside, explaining simply that your jewelry is not for chewing. Then hand your baby a teething ring or another chewable toy and say, "This is fine to chew on."
Tool: Right wrongs together
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works: Going back to the peas example above — there's a difference between a baby who playfully throws her bowl to the floor and a young toddler who knows she's creating a mess for Mommy or Daddy to clean up.That turning point happens when your child becomes capable of knowing when she's doing something she's not supposed to, often around her first birthday. "When she looks at you with that glint in her eye and then drops the peas, you know it's time to do something." says expert Madelyn Swift. What you do, says Swift, is start teaching the concept of taking responsibility for her actions.Real-life application: Your toddler's made a mess under her highchair. Lift her up, set her on the floor, and ask her to hand you some peas so she's "helping" you take care of it. Talk to her about what you're doing: "Okay, we made a mess with the peas so we have to clean it up." Then put her back in her chair and give her something else to eat, or end the meal.
Tool: Emphasize the positive
Age: 12 months and up
How it works:
This one's easy: Tell your child when you like how he's behaving, rather than speaking up only when he's doing something wrong. "It takes a bit of practice to get in the habit of rewarding good behavior rather than punishing bad, but it's more effective in the end," says Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist in Clearwater, Florida, and author of Don't Be Afraid to Discipline and other books.Real-life application: It's nap time, a potential battle zone with your sometimes resistant toddler. Head it off by praising even small steps: "It's so great that you stopped playing with your blocks when I asked you to. That means we have extra time and can read a story. If you lie down right away, we'll have even more time and can read two stories." Keep praising each improvement he makes in his nap time routine, and make it worth his while with rewards such as stories or songs.
Tool: Manage anger
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works:
Toddlers are tantrum-prone because they're not yet able to control their emotions, experts say. "Tantrums aren't really a discipline issue, they're about anger management," says Madelyn Swift. "Tantrums happen when kids don't get their way and they're mad."Step one in this situation is to let your child calm down in whatever way works best for her. If she'll let you hold her, hug and rock her until she's quiet. If touching her only sets her off again, give her space to calm down by herself.Don't try to talk to her about what happened until she's over the emotional storm, Swift says. But once it's over, don't let relief prevent you from addressing what happened. Instead, replay the tape and return to the scene of the crime. It's time to fix whatever mistakes were made.Real-life application: Your toddler didn't want to get dressed and threw a fit, hurling toy cars around the room. Once she's stable, take her back to the toy cars and calmly but firmly tell her it's time to pick them up. If the task seems too daunting, split it up. Point to one pile of cars and say, "You pick up these cars and I'll pick up the ones over there." Stay there until your toddler has finished her portion of the job.If she refuses and has another tantrum, the cycle repeats itself. But wait longer for her to settle down this time, and make sure she knows you mean business. Then back to the cars you go.
Tool: Talk toddler-ese
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works:
The secret to getting your toddler to do what's right — or to stop doing what he shouldn't — can be as simple as communicating in a way he can truly understand. Pediatrician Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block, tells parents to view their toddler as a "little Neanderthal" and talk to him as such. In other words, get down to his "primitive" level and keep it really, really simple.Karp calls his communication strategy The Fast Food Rule because you're basically operating like a drive-through cashier: You repeat back the order, then name the price. Use short phrases with lots of repetition, gestures, and emotion to show your child that you get what's going on in his head.Real-life application: Your toddler yanks a truck out of his friend's hands. Instead of plopping him down in a time-out or trying to explain why what he did was wrong — both strategies that assume your child's more sophisticated than he is — take a few minutes to echo what he seems to be thinking and feeling back to him: "You want the truck."Validating your child's feelings will help him settle down, and once he's calm enough to listen, you can deliver your discipline message. But again, give him the stripped-down version: "No grab, no grab, it's Max's turn." Note: This may feel silly at first, but it will work.
Tool: Listen to "no"
Age: 12 to 36 months
How it works:
"No" is one of the first words many kids learn to say, and it almost immediately becomes the one they say most often. As parents know, the constant negativity and refusals can get a little tiresome. Strange as it may sound, one way to prevent "the endless no's" is to try and take "no" seriously when your child says it. After all, we all have a tendency to repeat ourselves when we don't think people are listening, right?Real-life application: Your toddler's running around in a dirty diaper, but she refuses to stop and let you change it. "Start by asking if she wants her diaper changed, and if she says no, say okay and let it go for a while," says Kvols. Wait 15 minutes and ask again, and if you get another no, wait again.Usually by the third time you ask, discomfort will have set in and you'll get a yes. And knowing that saying no carries some weight will stop your child from saying it automatically. "The more you respect their no, the less often they use it," Kvols says.
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-kit-successful-strategies-for-every-age_1475318.pc?articleId=1475318&page=2
Highlights
We've all seen them: the out-of-control toddler hurling handfuls of sand at the park; the whiny-voiced 3-year-old begging for candy in the grocery line; the sassy 7-year-old yelling "you can't make me!" at the restaurant. And we've privately dissed their parents, reassuring ourselves that we'd never be such a wimp if our child was terrorizing the playground or disrupting everyone's dinner. But then it happens: the massive meltdown that takes you completely by surprise. And suddenly you are that parent — the one flailing to figure out what to do. The truth is, every child presents discipline challenges at every age, and it's up to us to figure out how to handle them.Why is discipline such a big dilemma? Because it feels like a tightrope act. On one side there's the peril of permissiveness — no one wants to raise a brat. On the other side there's the fear of over-control — who wants to be the hardliner raising cowed, sullen kids? What we need is a comfortable middle ground to ensure that our little ones grow up to be respectful, caring, and well behaved.
First, the ground rules
To set the stage for discipline success, here are the bottom-line rules many experts agree on:
1. We're all in this together. Right from the start, teach your kids that your family is a mutual support system, meaning that everyone pitches in. Even a baby can learn to "help" you lift her by reaching out her arms, says Madelyn Swift, founder and director of Childright and author of Discipline for Life, Getting It Right With Children.
2. Respect is mutual. One of the most common complaints parents and kids have about each other is "You're not listening." Set a good example early on: When your child tries to tell you something, stop what you're doing, focus your attention, and listen. Later you can require the same courtesy from her.
3. Consistency is king. One good way to raise a child with emotional strength? Be consistent and unwavering about rules and chores, says Harvard professor Dan Kindlon, author of Too Much of a Good Thing. Even if you pick just one chore to insist on, your child will be better off, Kindlon says. "Being firm and consistent teaches your child that you care enough about him to expect responsible behavior."
4. Life's not always fair. We're so afraid of disappointing or upsetting our kids — too afraid, say some discipline pros. "If a child never experiences the pain of frustration — of having to share a toy or wait their turn in line — or if they're never sad or disappointed, they won't develop psychological skills that are crucial for their future happiness," says Kindlon. So if your child's upset because a younger sibling got a different punishment, for example, it's okay to say "I understand that this seems unfair to you, and I'm sorry you're upset, but life isn't always fair."
Tool: Remove and substitute
Age: 6 to 18 months
How it works:
Like the rest of us, young children learn by doing — so when your baby throws his bowl of peas off the highchair tray, it's because he's curious to see what will happen, not because he wants to upset you or mess up your clean kitchen floor.That said, you don't have to stand by while your child does something you don't like. And you definitely don't want to stand by if your little one's grabbing for something dangerous. Take the object away or physically move your baby away from it. Then give him a safe, less-messy or less-destructive alternative. "Substituting something else will prevent a meltdown," Kvols says.Make sure you explain what you're doing to your child, even if he's too young to really understand. You're teaching a fundamental discipline lesson — that some behaviors aren't acceptable, and that you'll be redirecting him when necessary.Real-life application: Your 8-month-old keeps grabbing your favorite necklace and chewing on the beads. Instead of letting him, or continuing to pull it out of his hands, unclasp the necklace and put it aside, explaining simply that your jewelry is not for chewing. Then hand your baby a teething ring or another chewable toy and say, "This is fine to chew on."
Tool: Right wrongs together
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works: Going back to the peas example above — there's a difference between a baby who playfully throws her bowl to the floor and a young toddler who knows she's creating a mess for Mommy or Daddy to clean up.That turning point happens when your child becomes capable of knowing when she's doing something she's not supposed to, often around her first birthday. "When she looks at you with that glint in her eye and then drops the peas, you know it's time to do something." says expert Madelyn Swift. What you do, says Swift, is start teaching the concept of taking responsibility for her actions.Real-life application: Your toddler's made a mess under her highchair. Lift her up, set her on the floor, and ask her to hand you some peas so she's "helping" you take care of it. Talk to her about what you're doing: "Okay, we made a mess with the peas so we have to clean it up." Then put her back in her chair and give her something else to eat, or end the meal.
Tool: Emphasize the positive
Age: 12 months and up
How it works:
This one's easy: Tell your child when you like how he's behaving, rather than speaking up only when he's doing something wrong. "It takes a bit of practice to get in the habit of rewarding good behavior rather than punishing bad, but it's more effective in the end," says Ruth Peters, a clinical psychologist in Clearwater, Florida, and author of Don't Be Afraid to Discipline and other books.Real-life application: It's nap time, a potential battle zone with your sometimes resistant toddler. Head it off by praising even small steps: "It's so great that you stopped playing with your blocks when I asked you to. That means we have extra time and can read a story. If you lie down right away, we'll have even more time and can read two stories." Keep praising each improvement he makes in his nap time routine, and make it worth his while with rewards such as stories or songs.
Tool: Manage anger
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works:
Toddlers are tantrum-prone because they're not yet able to control their emotions, experts say. "Tantrums aren't really a discipline issue, they're about anger management," says Madelyn Swift. "Tantrums happen when kids don't get their way and they're mad."Step one in this situation is to let your child calm down in whatever way works best for her. If she'll let you hold her, hug and rock her until she's quiet. If touching her only sets her off again, give her space to calm down by herself.Don't try to talk to her about what happened until she's over the emotional storm, Swift says. But once it's over, don't let relief prevent you from addressing what happened. Instead, replay the tape and return to the scene of the crime. It's time to fix whatever mistakes were made.Real-life application: Your toddler didn't want to get dressed and threw a fit, hurling toy cars around the room. Once she's stable, take her back to the toy cars and calmly but firmly tell her it's time to pick them up. If the task seems too daunting, split it up. Point to one pile of cars and say, "You pick up these cars and I'll pick up the ones over there." Stay there until your toddler has finished her portion of the job.If she refuses and has another tantrum, the cycle repeats itself. But wait longer for her to settle down this time, and make sure she knows you mean business. Then back to the cars you go.
Tool: Talk toddler-ese
Age: 12 to 24 months
How it works:
The secret to getting your toddler to do what's right — or to stop doing what he shouldn't — can be as simple as communicating in a way he can truly understand. Pediatrician Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Toddler on the Block, tells parents to view their toddler as a "little Neanderthal" and talk to him as such. In other words, get down to his "primitive" level and keep it really, really simple.Karp calls his communication strategy The Fast Food Rule because you're basically operating like a drive-through cashier: You repeat back the order, then name the price. Use short phrases with lots of repetition, gestures, and emotion to show your child that you get what's going on in his head.Real-life application: Your toddler yanks a truck out of his friend's hands. Instead of plopping him down in a time-out or trying to explain why what he did was wrong — both strategies that assume your child's more sophisticated than he is — take a few minutes to echo what he seems to be thinking and feeling back to him: "You want the truck."Validating your child's feelings will help him settle down, and once he's calm enough to listen, you can deliver your discipline message. But again, give him the stripped-down version: "No grab, no grab, it's Max's turn." Note: This may feel silly at first, but it will work.
Tool: Listen to "no"
Age: 12 to 36 months
How it works:
"No" is one of the first words many kids learn to say, and it almost immediately becomes the one they say most often. As parents know, the constant negativity and refusals can get a little tiresome. Strange as it may sound, one way to prevent "the endless no's" is to try and take "no" seriously when your child says it. After all, we all have a tendency to repeat ourselves when we don't think people are listening, right?Real-life application: Your toddler's running around in a dirty diaper, but she refuses to stop and let you change it. "Start by asking if she wants her diaper changed, and if she says no, say okay and let it go for a while," says Kvols. Wait 15 minutes and ask again, and if you get another no, wait again.Usually by the third time you ask, discomfort will have set in and you'll get a yes. And knowing that saying no carries some weight will stop your child from saying it automatically. "The more you respect their no, the less often they use it," Kvols says.
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-kit-successful-strategies-for-every-age_1475318.pc?articleId=1475318&page=2
Papa...get well soon!!!
This post is dedicated to Papa ~~~ Papa...get well soon...jgn lupa makan ubat ikut schedule tau.....you have to stay healthy...WE need you.....n WE love you so much.....
This is the latest pic of Ayra, taken on last Tuesday,17 June...at KJMC while waiting for Papa's having his checkup
And today is the first day Papa start working after 4 days of mc...so Ayra want to wish....
This is the latest pic of Ayra, taken on last Tuesday,17 June...at KJMC while waiting for Papa's having his checkup
And today is the first day Papa start working after 4 days of mc...so Ayra want to wish....
Horoscope
Suprise ! Suprise!
I hardly read or believe in horoscope....but this morning i came across the horoscope column in The Sun...just feel like reading...this is wat my horoscope say....
" YOU'VE have a choice. You can invest your time and energy in showing those who've
caused you problems recently who's boss. Or you can let it go, and instead focus on what
will ultimately prove to be far more rewarding activities."
Wat a great coincident huh...?!? but even before reading this horoscope, my instinct already make decision for me....to let go...just not worthy for my energy to prolonge this.....she's forgiven...
I hardly read or believe in horoscope....but this morning i came across the horoscope column in The Sun...just feel like reading...this is wat my horoscope say....
" YOU'VE have a choice. You can invest your time and energy in showing those who've
caused you problems recently who's boss. Or you can let it go, and instead focus on what
will ultimately prove to be far more rewarding activities."
Wat a great coincident huh...?!? but even before reading this horoscope, my instinct already make decision for me....to let go...just not worthy for my energy to prolonge this.....she's forgiven...
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Hermmm.....
I just feel like writing.....expressing myself...
Today is not a good day for me....somebody from work told me today..
'Today i knew who is the real Asmiza'...becoz of a small mistake i did...didnt reply her msg....something abt work related..
At first, i was so angry to see she wrote that...and then i find myself to keep on thinking abt that...hermmm...
In the end, i tot...what the hack...y am i worried abt wat she said...y do have to give a damn abt wat she or any other ppl said abt me...they dont really know me... if she think i'm not good enuf, then, be it....!! i'm not here to please anybody....
Maybe we tend to say things tat we didnt mean when we are so angry, or maybe we purposely said unnecessary things to hurt ppl feeling becoz we feel hurt inside...or just to heel ourselves
Somehow, today incident makes me think a lot...seem simple but somehow teach me something....
Ppl will do or say anything when they feel their teritory being disturb n also to satisfy their heart.....
Life is so subjective, what is rite for me, might be so wrong for somebody else.........
Today is not a good day for me....somebody from work told me today..
'Today i knew who is the real Asmiza'...becoz of a small mistake i did...didnt reply her msg....something abt work related..
At first, i was so angry to see she wrote that...and then i find myself to keep on thinking abt that...hermmm...
In the end, i tot...what the hack...y am i worried abt wat she said...y do have to give a damn abt wat she or any other ppl said abt me...they dont really know me... if she think i'm not good enuf, then, be it....!! i'm not here to please anybody....
Maybe we tend to say things tat we didnt mean when we are so angry, or maybe we purposely said unnecessary things to hurt ppl feeling becoz we feel hurt inside...or just to heel ourselves
Somehow, today incident makes me think a lot...seem simple but somehow teach me something....
Ppl will do or say anything when they feel their teritory being disturb n also to satisfy their heart.....
Life is so subjective, what is rite for me, might be so wrong for somebody else.........
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